Have you ever felt like there was no one... there? No one who really understood you?
I have.
When I was ten, my family moved halfway across the country. That was so hard for me - being ripped from my home, friends, relatives, church, beach, perfect weather - and being landed in a completely unknown place where we knew nobody. During that time, I got closer with my family, but it was hard - I cried myself to sleep, I thought of my old life day and night, I wondered if my friends were thinking about me too.
And I felt really alone.
I didn't have anyone to talk with whom I wasn't related to. I didn't know who to trust, who to confide in.
But you know what? God was - and is - good. He brought me amazing friends, a loving church family, a house that we all take comfort in, and fellowship with other Christians that I'd never had before.
Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”
That was in the beginning of the bible, when God was creating the world. He had just made his best creation - man - when he decided that man should not be alone.
Even from the start, God knew how our human bodies worked. He knew how our feelings worked, too, and wanted the best for us. He created man, and then he didn't want man to be lonely, so he made woman.
Has that ever happened to you? Well, I don't mean did God just create someone in front of your eyes (out of your own ribs, too), but did God ever put someone in your life that you knew was for a reason?
If you'd looked at me a year after we'd moved, you would've seen that. By chance, our across-the-street neighbor became my best friend. She was exactly the same age, she believed more-or-less the same gospel, and she was loving and kind to everyone she met. God put her in my life, and man, am I glad.
She was the one God "created" for me. I was lonely, and God gave me a pure, loving friendship that I could share with someone.
And that was incredible.
Years later, I can spot the loneliness effect. I knew what it was like. Now, let me show it to you.
Spotting Loneliness
Loneliness comes in many forms. For some, they hide it and make it seem like everything is okay. Others are just naturally shy and need someone they can talk to. Others just hide in their rooms and wait for a miracle to happen. Not even kidding.
As I go through this list, I want you to ask yourself each question. In this exercise, we will be taking a look at how to spot it in other people, but you can switch the question and ask it about yourself, too.
1. Do they seem - distant?
If someone is suffering from loneliness, sometimes the only thing they want to do is comfort themselves and go to God. And that is totally not a bad thing. But if you see that - someone distancing, maybe going to a corner (and not just because of the social distancing laws for COVID-19), reach out. A lot of times people don't know what to ask for. They don't know how much they need other people. So be that person that God put in their life for a reason.
2. Do they try to include themselves?
Other people, instead of hiding away, try their best to include themselves. I've done it, countless times. The best thing to do in this situation is go up to them first. Make them feel loved by finding them and saying, "hey, we want you to join us." Or even "I want you to join us." If you aren't in a group setting, that's okay. Start a conversation instead. From what I have observed in the patterns of loneliness, people that are lonely or shy don't want to stay that way. But they can't help themselves. So instead, YOU be the person that gets them out of their comfort zone bit by bit, and be the friend they need.
3. How do they react when you try to start a conversation?
Do they shy away? Eagerly start up? You can tell a lot about someone's feelings or emotions by watching their body. Most importantly, their eyes, hands, and feet. If their eyes quickly dart in different directions, they are nervous or feel awkward. If they are holding themselves with their arms, it means they are probably out of their comfort zone and trying to comfort themselves. Watch where they point their feet. Often, if their feet are pointed toward the direction of an exit or opening, it means they want to escape the conversation, or are no longer interested in being a part of it. If their feet are pointed towards you, it usually means they are genuinely interested in hearing what you have to say, and feel comfortable talking to you.
With those tips in mind, see what happens when you try to start a conversation. Do they look awkward? uncomfortable? If so, loosen the conversation. Talk about light things, ask them how their day went or their favorite hobbies. With that kind of person, you want to take it little by little until they are comfortable freely talking to you. If they seem awkward, it might mean they want to have a conversation, but don't quite know how to go about it. So guide the conversation. Ask them questions, tell them more about yourself, those kinds of things.
How can we apply this to daily life?
This week, I want you to involve yourself with someone else. Maybe it is one person, and you daily or as often as possible try to reach out to them. Maybe you invite a few different people to separate conversations, and make them feel comfortable. Maybe you are the lonely one. If that's the case, bring yourself out. Often, people don't see the signs of a lonely person. So you be that person who puts themselves out there, and you won't regret it.
Next week - Finding your value in God alone.
Comments
Post a Comment